Quotations on Jokes

68 Quotes Found
Displaying 1 through 50



I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me.
- Jensen Ackles
(Keywords: Jokes, Sound)

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
- Fred Allen
(Keywords: History, Time, Age, Comedy, First, Jokes, Living, Machine)

I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even common jokes as part of what I'm doing. I don't give a damn if half the audience walks out.
- David Antin
(Keywords: Jokes, Right)

It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
- Thomas Aquinas
(Keywords: Time, Deeds, Jokes, Mind, Relaxation)

I have 40 years of unpublished material, the ones they don't pick, and the reason I don't redraw them or use them again is that I like to use my brain every day and come up with new jokes.
- Sergio Aragones
(Keywords: Day, Jokes, Reason, Years)

One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes.
- Desi Arnaz
(Keywords: Comedy, Jokes, Problems)

Most shows, you really have to force it. And everybody's nervous, and the network is nervous, and they've all got their notepads out, and they're all going to give notes on what they think is funny, and everybody's trying to spin their jokes, and this was so - the script was so good that we didn't have to really do anything, and it made it so easy for us to do well.
- Will Arnett
(Keywords: Funny, Force, Jokes, Network, Trying)

I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.
- Samantha Bee
(Keywords: Jokes, News, Order)

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.
- Stella Benson
(Keywords: Family, Jokes, Strangers)

I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.
- Simon Le Bon
(Keywords: Age, People, Jokes, Old)

The most casual examination will reveal the fact that all the jokes about the horrible results of masculine cooking and sewing are written by men. It is all part of a great scheme of sex propaganda.
- Heywood Broun
(Keywords: Men, Sex, Cooking, Examination, Fact, Jokes, Propaganda, Results, Will)

Musician jokes are a kind of joke that usually have to do with how much money someone makes. Musicians are always starving, so they're really mean to each other about who makes what.
- Jackson Browne
(Keywords: Money, Jokes, Musicians)

It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.
- Brian P. Cleary
(Keywords: Jokes, Old, Years)

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.
- Robert Collier
(Keywords: Humor, Thought, Difference, Jokes, Play, Reality, Sense, Will)

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.
- Rob Corddry
(Keywords: Funny, Jokes, Questions)

In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around.
- David Cross
(Keywords: Jokes, Trying)

When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence.
- Evan Dando
(Keywords: Women, Jokes, Needs, Ugly)

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.
- Larry David
(Keywords: Life, People, Jokes, Sense, Spontaneity, Talk)

The most fun I ever have is sitting in with Rick writing, and we laugh at our own jokes.
- Adrian Edmondson
(Keywords: Fun, Jokes, Writing)

If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
- Bob Edwards
(Keywords: People, Jokes, Want)

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
- George Eliot
(Keywords: Difference, Jokes, Taste)

Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
- George Eliot
(Keywords: Jokes, Taste)

They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh.
- Mike Epps
(Keywords: People, Comedy, Jokes, Night)

Everybody that's living in this earth is living in a situation. It's not narrow-minded to the point where everybody is serious and nobody has a personality. I think people die telling jokes.
- Mike Epps
(Keywords: People, Earth, Jokes, Living, Personality)

Well, there are conjoined twins in real life and we can tell a story about them so long as they're not the brunt of the jokes. In this, they're the heroes of this story; we love these guys.
- Bobby Farrelly
(Keywords: Life, Love, Heroes, Jokes, Twins)

The people that become the biggest jokes are people who do not change. They stay the way they were in the past. Look at Michael Jackson, he never evolved.
- Corey Feldman
(Keywords: Change, People, Jokes, Past)

I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite circumstance. I don't want to be a part of a show where it's mostly about coming up with the jokes.
- Sherilyn Fenn
(Keywords: Humor, Circumstance, Jokes, Network, Want)

When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.
- Megan Fox
(Keywords: Thought, Jokes, School)

There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old African folk stories that I made up - or didn't - and Jamaican stories.
- Neil Gaiman
(Keywords: African, Comedy, Folk, Freedom, Jokes, Old, Sense)

Most jokes state a bitter truth.
- Larry Gelbart
(Keywords: Truth, Jokes, State)

I try to exist in a world where there is freedom of opinion, where you're allowed to make jokes. I don't want to live in some PC world where no-one's allowed to say anything.
- Boy George
(Keywords: Freedom, Jokes, Opinion, Want, World)

I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I can change the tempos. I can change the mood, because I'm in charge.
- Robert Goulet
(Keywords: Change, Jokes, Relax, Songs, Talk, Want)

I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level.
- Matt Groening
(Keywords: Love, Idea, Books, College, Jokes, Kids)

My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog.
- Cathy Guisewite
(Keywords: Time, Jokes, Secrets)

I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something.
- Steve Harvey
(Keywords: Life, Jokes, Old, Want, Years)

I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening.
- Dan Hicks
(Keywords: Idea, Jokes, Quiet)

I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel.
- James Humes
(Keywords: Humor, Jokes, Language, Pornography, Wit)

Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
- Washington Irving
(Keywords: Humor, Companionship, Jokes, Laughter, Meeting, Oil, Wine)

I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
- Tahar Ben Jelloun
(Keywords: Life, Love, Friendship, Jokes, Laughter)

I don't want to see people decorating a house or digging a garden. As for guys like Jonathan Ross, he got an award there last Christmas. What for? He doesn't sing, dance or tell jokes, does he?
- Ian St. John
(Keywords: People, Dance, Christmas, Garden, Jokes, Want)

When my mother died, I had to go on air that night and do jokes.
- Graham Kennedy
(Keywords: Mother, Jokes, Night)

The thing about all good horror movies is that the fans expect a couple of inside jokes. Maybe I'm supposed to be saying how terrified I was while making it, but it was really fun.
- Margot Kidder
(Keywords: Movies, Fans, Fun, Horror, Jokes, Saying)

I crack jokes and play games and that's really more my nature than being cold.
- Bernhard Langer
(Keywords: Nature, Being, Games, Jokes, Play)

When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
- Seth MacFarlane
(Keywords: Day, Job, Jokes, Mind)

Writing for young children I find I often use particular jokes with words and exaggerated, funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex stories for older children too.
- Margaret Mahy
(Keywords: Funny, Children, Events, Jokes, Words, Writing)

I feel that after all those horrible reviews and jokes, I wasn't crazy all these years to stand up for the music I believe in. This album has proven that somewhere in the human race, the human heart is still racing and breaking and I am so grateful.
- Barry Manilow
(Keywords: Music, Heart, Jokes, Race, Racing, Years)

I've included these little jokes and mysteries in my writing for the amusement of readers.
- Armistead Maupin
(Keywords: Amusement, Jokes, Writing)

'St. Elmo's Fire' is one of my favorite films. I like the storytelling of those teenage American films. You don't get that now. Teenage American movies are all about sick jokes, puking a lot, arse jokes.
- James McAvoy
(Keywords: Movies, American, Favorite, Fire, Jokes, Now, Teenage)

Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant.
- Rue McClanahan
(Keywords: Jokes, Kids, Now)

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
- Marilyn Monroe
(Keywords: Jokes, Mind, Want)



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