Quotations by Ogden Nash

42 Found
Displaying 1 through 42


Born: Tuesday, August 19, 1902
Died: Wednesday, May 19, 1971 (68 years old)
Profession: Poet
Nationality: American


A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Wrong)

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Family, Men, Women, Children)

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Liquor)

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money?
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Funny, Life, Money, Buying)

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Children, Nothing, Parents)

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Hurt)

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Mind)

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Wrong)

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
- Ogden Nash

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: New year)

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Happiness)

I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.
- Ogden Nash

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: News, Right, Wrong)

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Sex, Idea, Man, Woman)

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Hope, Dogs, Mothers, Tongue)

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Remorse)

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
- Ogden Nash

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Life, Living)

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Money, Work, Want)

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Life, Man)

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Marriage, People, Alliance)

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Age, Home, Hope, Middle age, Night)

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Age, People, Middle age)

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Children, Parents)

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Man, Remorse)

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Children, Giving, Parents)

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: People, Want)

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Work, People)

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Men)

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Progress)

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Mind, Remorse)

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Fun)

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Bed, Night, Regret)

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: End)

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Happiness, Control)

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: People, Sin)

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Trouble)

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: People, Being, Friends)

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Happiness, Conscience)

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Love, Marriage, Right, Wrong)

Too clever is dumb.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Dumb)

Women would rather be right than reasonable.
- Ogden Nash
(Keywords: Women, Right)







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