Quotations by Lewis Grizzard
Displaying 1 through 9
Born: Sunday, October 20, 1946
Died: Sunday, March 20, 1994 (47 years old)
I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
(Keywords: Thoughts, Eating)
Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.
(Keywords: Women, Sex)
The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
(Keywords: Life, Opportunity, Football, Problems)
The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one.
(Keywords: Mistakes, Public, Trying, Will)
You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'
(Keywords: Attitude, Dogs, Want, Will)