Quotations by Lewis Grizzard

9 Found
Displaying 1 through 9


Born: Sunday, October 20, 1946
Died: Sunday, March 20, 1994 (47 years old)
Profession: Writer
Nationality: American


I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
- Lewis Grizzard
(Keywords: Woman)

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
- Lewis Grizzard
(Keywords: Family)

If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
- Lewis Grizzard

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
- Lewis Grizzard
(Keywords: Woman)

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
- Lewis Grizzard
(Keywords: Thoughts, Eating)

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.
- Lewis Grizzard
(Keywords: Women, Sex)

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
- Lewis Grizzard
(Keywords: Life, Opportunity, Football, Problems)

The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one.
- Lewis Grizzard
(Keywords: Mistakes, Public, Trying, Will)

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'
- Lewis Grizzard
(Keywords: Attitude, Dogs, Want, Will)







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