Quotations by Lenny Bruce

18 Found
Displaying 1 through 18


Born: Tuesday, October 13, 1925
Died: Wednesday, August 3, 1966 (40 years old)
Profession: Comedian
Nationality: American


A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: People, Christ)

Communism is like one big phone company.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: Communism, Company)

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: God, People, Church, Day)

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: Hate, Nothing)

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: School)

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: God, Kissing)

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: Children, School, Years)

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: First)

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: Justice)

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: Beach)

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: Time, Public, Satire, Tragedy, Will)

The "what should be" never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no "what should be," there is only what is.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: People, Trying)

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: People, Liberals)

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: Art, Comedy, Laughter, Man)

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: Daughter)

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
- Lenny Bruce

There are never enough I Love You's.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: Love)

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.
- Lenny Bruce
(Keywords: Business, Nothing, Old, Years)







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