Quotations by Laurence J. Peter

48 Found
Displaying 1 through 48


Born: Tuesday, September 16, 1919
Died: Friday, January 12, 1990 (70 years old)
Profession: Writer
Nationality: Canadian


A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Man)

A man convinced against his will is not convinced.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Man, Will)

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Man)

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Man)

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Ignorance, Logic)

America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: America, Country)

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: America, Land, Taxation)

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Today, Tomorrow, Will, Yesterday)

An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Intelligence, Man)

As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Expression, Fact)

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Time, Bureaucracy, Past)

Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Work)

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Beauty, Truth, Competence, Eye)

Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: People, Blame, Democracy, Man, Will)

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Miracles)

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Work, Bed, Hell)

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Education)

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Opportunity, Being, Chance, Will)

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Nature, Time, Mother, Father)

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Incompetence)

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Man)

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Fortune, Misfortune, Patience)

Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Car, Christian, Church)

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Heredity, Parents)

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Mind)

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Right, Wrongs)

If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: End, Will)

In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Incompetence)

It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
- Laurence J. Peter

Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
- Laurence J. Peter

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Reputation, Will)

Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Men, Women, Incompetence, Now)

Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Faults)

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Art, Originality)

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Faults, Parents, Psychiatry)

Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: World)

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Problems)

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Regret, Speech)

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: American, Force, Television)

The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Intelligence, Leisure)

The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Failure, Content, Question)

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Man, Poor)

The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Sheep, Wounds)

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Rest)

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Danger, Doubt)

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Work, Employees, Incompetence)

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Fool, Job)

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.
- Laurence J. Peter
(Keywords: Sea, Water, Wishes)







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