Quotations by Billy Connolly

21 Found
Displaying 1 through 21


Born: Tuesday, November 24, 1942
Profession: Comedian
Nationality: Scottish


Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.
- Billy Connolly

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: Being, Fame)

I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: God, People, Angels, Trouble, Want)

I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: Angels, Space, Wind)

I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: People, Dogs)

I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.
- Billy Connolly

I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: Word)

I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: Love)

I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.
- Billy Connolly

I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: Imagination)

I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: People, Pretty, Want, World)

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: Army)

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: First, Name)

It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: God, Christianity, Islam, Judaism)

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: Marriage)

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: Thinking)

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: Pet, Parents)

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: Trust, Man, Tea)

The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
- Billy Connolly

The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: Love, Music, Time, Optimism, America, Being, Style)

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
- Billy Connolly
(Keywords: June, Seasons, Winter)







© Copyright 2002-2022 QuoteKingdom.Com - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED