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Woody Allen Quotes

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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
- Woody Allen

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
- Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
- Woody Allen

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
- Woody Allen

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
- Woody Allen

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
- Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
- Woody Allen

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- Woody Allen

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
- Woody Allen

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
- Woody Allen

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
- Woody Allen

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen







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